Grump Number 1

Living up here on the Isle of Skye can be idyllic and for about 6 months of the year it is. The other 6 months can have anyone who happens to have hair (I don’t!) to pull it out with frustration and anger. Now, for people who don’t live up here, you’re probably thinking it must have something to do with the weather! No, you’re wrong – nothing to do with the climate, in fact the frustration occurs at the best time of the year for clear days and unclouded nights. The reasons for the screaming and shouting are inconsiderate toursist who think we are all still living in the 18th century up here. They obviously think we go about at a laconic pace not bothering whether we ever to get from A to B, never mind at what speed we accomplish it. Yes, it’s those drivers who go about the island pointing out lovely seas, gorgeous little lambs, highland cows, in fact anything at all that looks in anyway different from things they see in the cities. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think that’s lovely they feel that way but not while I am driving behind them trying to get home after a long day in another part of the island – or trying to get somewhere for an appointment. Why do they never look in their rear-view mirror? Why do they never use their wing mirrors? Why do they think we are all yokels with nothing better to do than follow them along the road at 20mph? Things get even worse during May and June when the lambs are born. The tourist then sees a lamb and his mother feeding about 100metres away from the side of the road and they either swerve out into the middle of the road or suddenly stop and crawl along at 2mph. Do they think all sheep up here are kamikazi and will suddenly stop eating contentedly and decide to run in front of the first car that approaches them? Even if you blow your horn and tell them you are behind them, you can see them then use their rear-view mirror and wonder why you are tooting your horn! Single track roads are the worst! There are these things called Passing Places where the oncoming car, seeing a car coming towards them can pull into and let the other car pass. Not the tourist! They will either stop their car in there to get out and have a photo opportunity or they will keep going and when they are in front of you and neither car can go anywhere, they will look at you and start gesticulating for you to go back, even although the nearest Passing Place is actually only 10 yards behind them and yours in 100yards back! Well, I don’t give in to them – I literally turn off the engine and pick up my paper and read it. You see – I’m a country yokel and have all day to get from A to B – aren’t I!

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